I promised some laughs...

A couple of things here. 1, I always wanted to be funny and s an alcoholic/addict who was so afraid to show who he really was and in turn never really found out who I am... I modeled myself after funny people. Now I know that a lot of you are thinking "modeling yourself after funny people does not make you funny" and I 100% agree. BUT I have been to rehab 10 times and here are a few things I have learned:

1. At first people think I am an asshole (I hope my swearing does not offend anyone, I figure were in recovery, we've heard and said our fair share of swears). I push people away because I am so afraid of getting hurt or someone getting something by me. But once people get to know me, I am still an asshole! I joke, maybe... don't ask my two ex-wife's. But in all of my rehab stays I have learned that I am actually fumy. I figure if people in rehab think you're funny it's a pretty good bet.

2. I have a sick and dark sense of humor and sometimes I take thing's too far. I swear that I am working on this. If I offend anyone I apologize in advance.

3. You have to be able to laugh at yourself. If you can't you long road to sobriety just got a lot longer, and it's up hill and the hill is layered in ice, and you have to push a 50-pound sled up the hill. Moral of the story (and no I do not feel that I should be the one in position to tell anyone the moral of ANYTHING) But the moral of the story is doesn't take life too seriously; it's not like any of us are getting out of here alive.

A funny story/experience from rehab...

Does anyone remember the Adam Sandler and Chris Farley "Lunch Lady" Song?

While I was in rehab, I don't know three of four times ago. We had a man there who used to be a roadie for a very famous singer (of whom I will not share even though I really want to because I believe it makes the story that much better). Once or twice a week, when he was conscious enough, he would bring his guitar out to the last smoke break of the night. They made us smoke in what can only be equated to a prison yard. I do not even smoke! But I would go outside and feed my "healthy" lungs to the 2nd hand smoke for this experience.

He would start playing the Lunch Lady Song. Suddenly where moments prior fights were about to break out for the usual array of bullshit reasons... almost every person there was smiling. Tough guys who didn't want to be seen as weak, soft guys who wanted to be seen as tough, lost and hurt people who just desperately needed a break. ll of us (expect for one, because there always has to be one; and I can admit that sometimes it was me). But all of us would be smiling and screaming at the top of our lungs "sloppy joe, slopppppy sloppppy Joe!"

For that moment we weren't a group of people in rehab. We didn't have jail sentences hanging over our heads, we didn't have mad, glad and or sad families who don't know what to do or say to us. We were just people, laughing and singing and having a good time. It made me feel normal and I was having fun, I was laughing and I was sober!